The brave don't live forever. The cautious don't live at all.--shango

 I am finally coming to the light at the end of my medical tunnel. For the last few months I have been under the weather, really under the weather, the specifics of which I won't go too deeply into. Anyway, I have been back and forth to the doctor getting the ins and outs of my maladies identified and dealt with. As is known I don't really do medication so I had to keep going back to try and find a treatment that I was comfortable with. I finally did and with a modified diet (I had to go back to my all natural, organic, no red meat diet. Kosher salt replaces regular iodized and cane sugar (when I absolutely have to have sweets) must replace place white sugar, I am on the mend.
Most of the inflammation in my joints is gone and the problems with my feet and ankles are getting better (I may have to get cortisone injections if problems do not correct themselves fast enough).
I am not as tired as often and will have to start at the gym again next week to recondition my muscles. I didnt realize how severely my illness had affected my mood.
I kept a stiff upper lip, didnt really talk about me being sick, and figured I was fine. Not the case.
 I would sometimes awake in the middle of the night, paranoid about noises I thought I heard. I wouldnt freak out and call the police or anyone else for that matter but I wouldnt go back to sleep until the sun had come up (which means I would sleep for about 2-3 hours before an 8 hour shift at work and then a 3 hour class at school. I had to go to the dentist because when I did sleep I had begun to grind my teeth (stress related).
I still went to work and smiled and performed as I normally would, never acknowledging any emotional issues related to being ill.
In the meantime I was having trouble moving my limbs in the morning and walking everywhere everyday (no motor vehicle) was wearing me down even more.
My doctor, grew tired of trying to get me to talk about how I was feeling he encouraged me to speak with a friend or family member, no dice--people have their own issues, right?
He finally gave me a book, now it was not a book about depression per se, it was a novel, (It was actually a book that someone else had suggested I read a few weeks prior to this and I declined) so I took it and read it and boom, the flood gates opened. I was so emotional even that I had to call in to work because I was worried that I might tear up in front of customers. I fell asleep for 10 hours after all that emotional work and felt refreshed and relieved the next day.
I feel much better these days, I am medication free, dealing with my emotional issues through journaling and as of yestereday finally gave up riding the bus for a more efficient mode of transportation not to mention one that is easier on my still healing body.
Not 100% but my glass is definetely half full again, thanks to Literature, a doctor with a good bedside manner and a couple of astute and persistent people.
Just getting that off my mind, and chest and out in the universe.
I love, period.