The brave don't live forever. The cautious don't live at all.--shango

Howdy Howdy all!

I know, I know it has been forever since you heard from yours truly and for that I am sorry. I will say that I have missed blogging a little. I really miss reading everyone's thoughts and such the most. I have been in-cog-Negro (yes I still think that is funny Myclette ) because I have been working some crazy lovely hours at the Bookstore as the Merchandise Manager and let me tell you the book signings alone are enough to make you rip out your hair. The authors range from extremely nice and independent (they come equipped and ready to sell their books rather than just sitting there waiting for people to spontaneously become interested in their take on the great American novel) to the lousy ones who are so dull that people pass by their table and nod off unexpectedly or they are so abrupt that folks literally block their faces in anticipation of a slap.

Anyway, since my readership has dwindled due to my own absentia I suppose I am more free to just write without constraint.
It was not my intention to take such a long hiatus but life outside of these cyber-walls beckoned and I had no choice but to answer the call.
My dream of living the writing life is being realized and I have been spending countless hours of my life submerged in that reality.
The good news is that with all of the work and research and sweat that comes with that life I still know unequivocally and without a doubt that it is the life I want.
Better news is that the shell I wore for so long has dissolved under the solvent of my new existence.
Contentment is a hard word for me to use in connection with my life sometimes. Not only because it seems so elusive sometimes (what with me feeling as though I never have enough of what I want) but because it signals the apex or phoenix of good things, good times and good people to come. So no I wont say that I am content in the sense that I have all that I want or need. I will say that swimming through my own psyche and acknowledging who I am has brought me a measure of spiritual and emotional contentment. For that I have to be eternally grateful to the world around me that has allowed me to slow down and find myself in the great big show that is ME.
I know this may seem like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to some but to others it will be a mirror of their own thoughts and emotions.
So here I am, a published writer (short stories in small magazines right now but keep your eyes peeled for the Sovereign Chronicles), a good person with big heart and honest nature; a flawed individual, unafraid to admit the wrongs I have done and the people I have hurt. In turn I have forgiven a number of people who have hurt me. I can honestly say that I have let it all go.
Dont get me wrong I committed some acts of revenge in the beginning and oh how those acts will affect those people! I am not proud of my behavior and I wont even say that I wish I had not done it. I will say that I wish I had been a better person then and better equipped to deal with what had been dealt to me, but at the time I most assuredly wasn't. So I took a break and looked completely at who I used to be and who I had become and here I am.
But ultimately I didn't compromise my morals, I stayed true to those I committed myself to and most importantly I did not Settle for what I thought was the best I could do--thinking back now I cant even remotely believe that I was going to stop where I was now that I am here...whew! Talk about dodging bullets!
Anyway I am going to be back to writing my healthy living nonsense over here at The House of Environgirl and giving my 2 cents on the ways of the world and for anyone who stumbles over here I would like to say that you are welcome and if you say howdy I will most certainly say howdy back!
Be safe be true and honor your commitments, Karma will let you know what they are!
Goddess Bless