Today my mother, older brother, his son and daughter decided to give me my birthday.......er....um..."day".  Of course we are country folks so we were up and out of the house "'foe day" (before day-light).  Now I generally get up early but sometimes I like to linger in dream land a while, especially after working both jobs the day before.

But still I struggled from under the heavy-ass homemade quilt (courtesy of my aunt Rachel) and got myself together for a day of fun and nagging.

My mother has 4 grand-children, my brothers have 2 children each.  For some reason her position as grandmother is not secure unless I unleash my DNA on the world proper. 

UGH! Must we do this everytime we meet/speak (which is constant because my mother feels that if we dont speak everyday the world will surely end). I dont mind, I like to talk to my mother but not about marriage or reproduction. 

I told her that I would gladly have kids if I found the right "house husband", because while I am terrible domestic (I cook, sew, crochet........) I really want someone else to do the "hard" stuff. 

What do you do when the kid gets sick besides panic and run in a circle screaming? I have seen my own blood plenty and it doesn't phase me but if I see my kid's, I just might faint. I am usually very very good in a crisis but who knows what happens when it's your kid. YIKES, is what I'm thinkin'.

What if they are like I was and are insanely accident prone and absent-minded?  I wandered off constantly when we lived in Mississippi.  I was constantly falling out of trees, swimming alone in creeks and rivers that I stumbled upon. I happened upon snakes and wild-cats all of the time. I once was stuck on top of a smokehouse for almost 2 days waiting for a cat to get over wanting to make me a snack.  My uncle Dock and his pit bulls saved the day luckily. This incident did not stop me from wandering off however.

I honestly don't know how she did it. I was quite the handfull. I was a great student, never gave the teachers grief but I did like to seek adventure on the way home.

It didnt help that I was so quiet that some might think I was invisible half the time. So stealth and wanderlust don't mix with children and I have to face the fact that any off-spring I have might be afflicted with the same disease. 

Then there is schooling. I like to move around. So what about schooling? Do I get cerification and home-school? What about the house husband? Will he cotton to that (will he agree to home schooling)? Who knows?

Ugh.

Religion? I am a Pagan now but  I was raised good ole fashioned ,fire and brimstone, apocalyptic, tent revival BAPTIST.  Do I skip that or include it? To what degree? I mean I want them to be familiar with a number of religions and to be sensitive to other beliefs.

I said all of this to my mother over lunch and she jsut stared at me like I was speaking some violent and horrible language. 

"Girl, is that what you think about everytime you think about kids?"

"of course!  How can I not?"

"Well, I'll say!" (this means that I am being ridiculous and overthinking in her opinion)

She tells me that if she had thought of all that me and my brothers would never have been. yeah, thanks momma, I really didnt need to hear that!

Any way the day was awesome in spite of it all and I got a really bitchin' digital camera that I have no clue how to use ( I am terrible at all thing technological, I had my cell phone forever and didnt learn to text message until this past september when the hurricane hit and no phone calls could get through).  I will likely spend the rest of the weekend trying to figure it out!

and a poem to complete the entry...here goes....

my love is but a building

my love is building a building
around you, a frail slippery
house, a strong fragile house
(beginning at the singular beginning

of your smile)a skilful uncouth
prison, a precise clumsy
prison(building thatandthis into Thus,
Around the reckless magic of your mouth)

my love is building a magic, a discrete
tower of magic and(as i guess)

when Farmer Death(whom fairies hate)shall

crumble the mouth-flower fleet
He'll not my tower,
                   laborious, casual

where the surrounded smile
                          hangs

                               breathless----ee cummings

Goddess Bless